there and back again

this darkness swoops down from the sky
rises from the ponds like a morning mist gone bad
surrounds and smothers my thoughts, my airways and my will
it has chewed away at my soul - already tattered beyond recognition
as if a vulture had descended upon my crumpled form
peck, peck, peck
nothing much left
this darkness with no beginning and definitely no end
rips apart my senses and the meaning of life itself
hurricane forces mounting higher
drifting toward the lip of the volcano
ready to erupt and remove the want and the wanted
this darkness taking control of control itself
leaping with flames of destruction
the essence of life slowly succumbing to tragedy

demon dedication

the demons
evil incarnate
themselves destructive
no longer hide
beneath the rafters
under the eaves
and along the lonely pathways
of life and living
they stand stark naked
in the hallway
in the garden
just hovering
taunting
menacing
acusing
berating
swirling their concessions
dodging the sweeping attemps
of elimination
irradication
their destination
holds strong against
our nature
our efforts
of denial
and frustration
we are prisoners
held helpless and hopeless
against their deeds
their intent
our breathing
sucked down deep
into their sewage
into their clutches
of deceit
I stand
useless
and tied to emotions
that have no bearing
no forces
against the evil demons
and watch
with a pain filled
soul
as the demons
drag him down
far beneath the layers
of love and understanding
to a place
where darkness
rules and I am
denied the satisfaction
of pulling him back
where love still smolders
and hope is fading

mist

hope has crumbled into dust
blown away by the forces
of nature and destiny
happiness is a cloudy transparency
turning yellow with deception
ambition dusted heavily with doubt
layering itself with deceit
inside courage withering
reducing merely to particles
the light, the sun, the wind
distant, silent, soundless
an absence of success
with the meaning slightly there

pathways

regret swirls and smolders
deep inside the fiery pit
of humanity and lost dreams
sending out puffs of sadness
rumbling shakes the core
loosens the grip
yesterdays explode slowly
and deliberately
crumbling and tumbling
along the path walked upon
no backwards steps
no changes of distance
time turns into thoughts
painful and stabbing
releasing pent up emotions
burning through closed doors
and open fields
tattered beneath
the wings of mortality
absence of oblivian
darkens the senses
destroying hope and absolution
blowing loudly
against the winds of war
fighting desperately
to regain perspective
and breathe
the frostiness of tomorrows
bent slightly by details
smoking embers
leave a trail
that no one can follow

begin again

deep down into the crevices way below the surface of life and meaning,
way down,
where the river of fire burns and erupts with turmoil and frustration,
pulsing,
churning,
growing with the wildness of mustangs long left on the open plains without water and peace of mind,
with relaxation and stimulation a blown away dust fragment,
sun baking the pink white of emotions into a charred lump of coal,
black,
blacker than the night with no fireflies,
no moon,
no distant light of encouragement,
silence cloaking the fields and outcroppings,
silence loud and thunderous,
water heavy with salt and sediment,
drowning,
drowning the hopes and dreams,
drowning the helpless victims of unnoticed crimes against the soul,
against the grain that holds the land together like pieces of yarn strung along the wet sand,
slowly washing out to sea with a wisp of foam,
deep down to the caves of darkness where passion used to be but no longer can raise its head,
see a smile or breathe in fresh air,
passion engulfed by the flaming desire of the burn,
sensations smoldering and flickering,
beneath,
beneath the dark waters hidden in the slurry of realization,
passion climbing fast and hard,
upward,
upward toward the light of desire and contentment,
clawing fruitlessly at the slow erosion of time and distance,
eyes closed,
hope bursting with absolution,
passion beginning to kindle,
ready to burst forth with freedom and fright,
into a world cloaked in layers and layers of translucent cloth,
spun from rules and tied to the post,
waiting for the release.

pollution

the world spins
and I tumble
toward the darkness
toward the unknown
the wind blows
and I fall
beneath the willows
beneath the leaves
the rain pours
and I melt
under the pressure
under the cloak
the sun sparkles
and I burn
from the intensity
from the heat
the waves crash
and I drown
from terror
from carelessness
the earth accepts me
into her arms

just breathe

the balloon has deflated
the fog has descended
the air is milky thick
shadows spiral upward
the river stops flowing
water evaporates
time is warped
my heart races
thumping hard
a gasp for breathe
pulse slows turtle style
I fall into despair
hoping
waiting
trying to believe
the sickness
will disappear
restored health
will be my glory

slipping away

life
like philo dough
transparent
like a bedroom window
fragile
like a shard of glass
crumpled
like an old newspaper
broken
like a china tea cup
lost
like my helpless soul
life
like the setting sun

begin again

when my world ends
and my soul lifts to a higher place
where rainbows glow
and sadness is long lost
when my heart is silenced
by a soothing calm
where birds sing
a lullaby song
where distance is absent
and love abounds
my soul drifts through rhapsody
the sun warms my space
white doves fly free
and sing with the earth
peaceful quiet prevailes
stillness like my pulse
I reach out to touch the magic
sprinkles of laughter
drift upward
my soul reaches destiny
as my world begins

Dreams Are

Dreams are shattered and lost,
tossed to the angry wind
swept away with the prevailing tide
washed upon the rocks of salvation
dried out by the rays of the sun
drifting with the morning tide
forgotton
disregarded
amended
crumpled like used paper
slips through cracks like dust particles
wrapped in longing and unforgiveness
rolling endlessly down a dead end road
caught by a thread in the debri
of yesterday and tomorrow
forgotton
disregarded
amended
left to face the forces
of a cruel world about to explode
next to dying embers of time
frustration colors the rainbow
salty sea water erodes the foundation
whispers of regret float across the prarie

Goodbye Maggie

decisions are made
life changes
the light flickers
and then goes out
memories surface
validation persists
justification
not stepping back
move forward
without regret
or hesitation
what's done is done
for the best
for who
a missing piece
of the heart and soul
an absence
saturated with denial
understanding the task
life is eternal
without physical form
a mist of love
swirls around
a decision
was made
no one to blame
suffering no more
what's done is done

Ward B

"Cheater, cheater, cheater."
"I ain't no cheater."
"Yes, yes, you are a cheater. Let's play dice."
"Nobody calls me a cheater and gets away alive."
"You're not a cheater, you're a liar, liar, liar. Play dice, play dice."
"That's enough."
Poker man jumps out of his orange plastic chair flipping it over backwards. He starts to bang the table with his fists. Cards and dice scatter all over the stained brown carpet. Poker man starts to cry.
"Baby, baby, look at the baby cry."
This scene unfolds right before my alpha eyes. I can see all from my special corner space. I try to escape farther back into the corner. I can't. It's a trap. Somebody is trying to keep me out of the walls. Huddling in the corner I feel the warm wet liquid dripping down my legs. It colors my yellow pants darker. The liquid spreads out onto the floor. The strong urine odor catches attention from the enemy.
The large blob dressed in non-white advances to my hiding place. I try in vain to ease my body into the partitions. Sweat pours down my nose. She's getting closer. It's not sweat. It's tears just like the poker man had.
"I don't want to be like the poker man," my mouth says.
Hurry, hurry hide before she catches you. Slowly my body enters the wall and conceals itself. I'm safe inside the wall, they can't get to me. I can see out but they can't see in.

Beneath it all

peal away the sadness
one single layer at a time
expose the fragility
suffer the consequences
shed tears of remorse
as the grips of sadness
slowly let go
while waves of memories
haunt your psyche
and twirl within
trying to escape
release is hopeful
peal away the pain
one layer at a time
renew the vitality
hidden beneath the armour
where hope was banished
to live in the flame
to become ashes of grief
with no one to blame

places I go

places where the wind blows softly
where birds sing sweet lullabies
as the waves crash respectively against the white sand
solitude
imagination
procrastination
are timeless treasures
places where a gentle breeze touches my face
where songs of laughter fill my body
as the sky paints puffs of white cotton
inspiration
dreams
peacefulness
are timeless treasures
places where my heart beats loud
where serenity rolls over white sand
as water washes away yesterday
joy
contentment
creativity
are timeless treasures
places where my soul survives
where destiny pulls my hand
as the world embraces me in love
whispers
laughter
happiness
are timeless treasures
places where I can touch pleasure
where senses explore reality
as the universe guides me

count them invisible

injustice prevails
turn your head
look away
untie your hands
play your games
insulate yourself
watch your feet
ignore the pain
turn your head
look away
don't worry about them
it's not your cause
let misery flame
continue on
your cushy path
turn your head
look away
don't get involved
pretend aloofness
pave your path
don't go astray
close your heart
silence your thoughts
turn your head
look away
hide behind
the bureaucracy
the paperwork
the hours spent
meaningless
bide your time
into descent
where they can't go
it's only you
turn your head
look away

rainy season

slowly the blood, the lifeline,
drains from the vessel
like a lazy river gone astray,
wandering aimlessly
waiting for the end to ease it all
before the fall
silence permeates the hollows of the mind
with doubt,
distraction and the void
rain patters lightly against the soul
desire fades with the dusk
darkness robs the light
and the power chugs to a stop
doors close
windows latch
alone
crying
reaching out
grasping for an invisible thread
hope
lost in the sea of pain
the mind
forecloses on destiny
salted wounds
helpless
thunder crackles
lightening strikes
and the vessel melts away

dust shadows

where darkness shadows

the illusion of love

when the will is bent

broken in spirit

drifting with the tide

of rambling dust

across the barren

through rolling hills

past a heartbreak

fading like the sunset

while the ocean breeze

drifts among the lost

unforseen clouds

remove the light

that energizes

our hopes

our dreams

where darkness overcomes

and shadows prevail

no words

the heart dripping blood
from the open wound
the slit from hurt
weeps within
outward signs
elusive and quiet
the storm is present
just beneath the surface
ready to rise
ready to strike
stages of remorse
solidify and disperse
the pulse rapid
the pallor ghostly
etched into the softness
where once dwelled
love and admiration
washed away
in the sea of silence
devastation
it's only remainder

Inside Myself

Where the distance from here to there,
is a vast desert,
reaching far beyond our sight.
Wrapped in solitude and silence,
where the blackness of pain survives,
without nourishment or empathy.
When pieces of the past,
float lazily upriver,
stinging the open wound.
Eyes are closed against the assault,
when knife meets heart,
and slowly shrinks,
beyond the hurt called love.
Still we cherish,
what once was and always will be,
passages of time,
eclipses with darkness
and the memories,
of long ago.
Fragments slip from our grasp,
and melt like the setting sun,
into the netherworld,
where life is not all that kind.

morning walk

the myst descends
upon me as
the morning sun rises
with splendor
and trepidation
droplets of dew
line my bare arms
and encase my face
a sweep of humid air
blows past with residue
water trickles down
the cement crevices
and blocks my dreams
and invades my thoughts
and tugs at my soul
destiny on the run
escaping the reality
compensating for neglect
with whispers of pain
desire is lost
among the white puffs
billowing softly
above my head
their destination
unknown and lost
where time is elusive
and wants are ravished
the myst is gone
like the dreams