dust shadows

where darkness shadows

the illusion of love

when the will is bent

broken in spirit

drifting with the tide

of rambling dust

across the barren

through rolling hills

past a heartbreak

fading like the sunset

while the ocean breeze

drifts among the lost

unforseen clouds

remove the light

that energizes

our hopes

our dreams

where darkness overcomes

and shadows prevail

no words

the heart dripping blood
from the open wound
the slit from hurt
weeps within
outward signs
elusive and quiet
the storm is present
just beneath the surface
ready to rise
ready to strike
stages of remorse
solidify and disperse
the pulse rapid
the pallor ghostly
etched into the softness
where once dwelled
love and admiration
washed away
in the sea of silence
devastation
it's only remainder

Inside Myself

Where the distance from here to there,
is a vast desert,
reaching far beyond our sight.
Wrapped in solitude and silence,
where the blackness of pain survives,
without nourishment or empathy.
When pieces of the past,
float lazily upriver,
stinging the open wound.
Eyes are closed against the assault,
when knife meets heart,
and slowly shrinks,
beyond the hurt called love.
Still we cherish,
what once was and always will be,
passages of time,
eclipses with darkness
and the memories,
of long ago.
Fragments slip from our grasp,
and melt like the setting sun,
into the netherworld,
where life is not all that kind.

morning walk

the myst descends
upon me as
the morning sun rises
with splendor
and trepidation
droplets of dew
line my bare arms
and encase my face
a sweep of humid air
blows past with residue
water trickles down
the cement crevices
and blocks my dreams
and invades my thoughts
and tugs at my soul
destiny on the run
escaping the reality
compensating for neglect
with whispers of pain
desire is lost
among the white puffs
billowing softly
above my head
their destination
unknown and lost
where time is elusive
and wants are ravished
the myst is gone
like the dreams

Dreams Die

the elusive dream
within inches of your fingertips
blowing softly in the breeze
and you reach out
inches short of capture
you try again
and faith flows with the current
time is freefalling
as the wind blows dust
and the particles
fall beneath you
life meanders
without resources
resting softly
upon the face of reality
entombed by frustration
sorrows implode
as destiny weeps
on your footprints
the tide waiting
for possesion
overtaken by impulse
the shadows darken
as dreams rise
and your soul is free

my forever place

submerged in the darkness
gasping for air
clinging to the lifeline
letting go
falling
falling
beyond the return
of reality and misfortune
closing the heart
letting go
falling
falling
blocks of time
fading into the distance
fog becomes eternity
letting go
falling
falling
destiny is forsaken
as the moon sinks
slowly into the melting pot
letting go
falling
falling
silence abounds
stillness is an illusion
satisfaction is lost
letting go
falling
falling
darkness prevails
the musk of air heavy
with deceit and deception

no words

My thoughts, my ideas, my feelings.

it comes like the wind

from the depths of darkness the long bony fingers reach to the sky and grab the soul - tattered as it already is and cloaks it with the message of destruction and doom becoming one with the dark devil and lost hopes, dreams and aspirations, it melts into nothingness, failure and despair, wonder if - IF - is that all there is, why do I continue when I sink to the pool of molten lava and disappear like a leaf blown with the wind, taken to oblivion, the place where souls cry in pain and ask for immortality, engulfed in self-pity, drowning in a sea of sadness, where morning brings more of the same and cast shadows of death that touch my thought

my life spiraling out of control, swirling near the depths of despair and darkness, surely when the bad starts it rolls faster and faster becoming bigger and bigger while the immense intensity of frustration and unhappiness builds and becomes a pyramid that reaches to the gods of doom, all reasoning is lost, misplaced and ignored including punctuation, grammar and following the rules - rules that have no place or meaning in my plunge to the bowels of the earth, once again the guilt I wear glows like the northern lights and shooting stars, stars that end with a splash no one hears or cares to see, alone, solitude now an enemy, my soul melting with the drama of self induced hopelessness

Parts of me

The darkness descends upon me and blankets me with despair. Air is swept away and my lungs shrivel with remorse. What sends me here to this forlorn place? Avalanches of sorrow slide roughly down the slope. Crevices of hope are covered and doomed to the nether region.

Drowning in hopelessness the sun turns away. My helpless tears fill the deep crevices carved by distance. The dancing heart slumps to the ending of the swan song. Regret spills over crashing through the levy that holds back the sadness.

Without protection the demise erupts into painful heartache and indefinite suffering. Demons swoop down and devour the lost soul. All is quiet - all is locked away into the great chest of terror and dreams.

Infinity Edge

Standing on the edge of the infinity pool. Surveying my options while thoughts swirl inside my head. My location colors my perspective about the situation. Far out into the landscape my eyes catch sight of the pain and indifference bounding over hills and scrub. A subtle wind blows despair in a whirlwind. Sagebrush tumbles defiantly across the flat lands.

My point of view changes rapidly with the weather. My inhabitions fluctuate with restless abandonment. The direction in which my life is traveling becomes clouded with doom. Cold temperatures slice though my emotional defenses. A wisp of doubt lingers just below the surface. My body frozen like an ice sculpture - solid and opaque.

My armour chipping and charred by reluctant choices. Energy once abundant and usefull now dormant and minuscule. My posture weak with sorrows and deceit. The No Vacancy sign of courage faded and bending. My soul shredded like Carolina Bar B Q.

The Sea

the sea she calls me

Falling

Open

Look thru my window.

Broken

2008

What if the season to be jolly lasted all year long?

A smile is the perfect gift, personal and encouraging.

Happy New Year.

The Soul Defined

Inside myself.

Aine is the goddess of the love, fertility and the moon. I have always felt an association with this name. I have always loved the water and its soothing qualities with mind, body and soul. Now - I can see the connection and the pull of eternity.

Áine (aw-ne) (Irish) - A faery queen and goddess of love and fertility. She is associated with the moon and has occasionally been seen combing her hair in the middle of a lake. Daughter of high king, Eogabail, the foster son of sea god Mannanán Mac Lir. Her sister is Fenne or Finnen.

Is our destiny, vulnerability and our inner soul connected to the past? Do we follow in the footsteps of our forefathers? Do we break out and test the waters with our curiosity and imagination?

Childhood memories weave in and out of our immortal life, rolling like the tide. Always consistent, always on time they beat against our tattered soul. The pungent aroma of low tide assaulting the senses as it recedes from the bay. Fiddler crabs on full alert searching for a dwelling. At this point in time any dwelling will suffice. Black mud dry and lifeless begs for forgiveness. Tiny little doorways to the inner earth expose themselves to predators and nature. The tides slowly and predictably retrace their endless pattern of movement. Fiddlers scramble for safety, not quite ready to sacrifice their soul to the earth god. I see myself through fiddler crab eyes, exposed to the elements and the trappings of illusions. As I search for solace and fortitude the tides of time sweep silently across my domain. The salty smell of fear blends with damp darkness and my life becomes with the tides. I contemplate why silences are so loud.
From nowhere I came, from nowhere I return. From your thoughts I hear, “Oh my, what a depressing introduction.” I say, let loose your soul and taste the salty water of my endless, timeless journey of love, life and survival.

My dream is to find my dreams. They’re lost. Missing, faded, and gone astray somehow when I wasn’t paying attention. I must have taken a shortcut, made a wrong turn or perhaps I just cast them aside like scraps of used paper. Life is laborious without my dreams. The sun rises, you breathe, the sun sets and it all starts again. There is a void a space so consuming that you melt away to secret sadness.
I search for my lost dreams peeking under accumulated debris and stacks of unrequested e-mail. It’s difficult to remember when and where the dreams became lost. My life has been scattered and reformatted so many times. Somewhere along the crowded path of life and survival my focus became clouded with materialism and money. Day and night are one in the same. Time is elusive and hollow.
And then life or lack thereof roars with rage inside my soul. My windows are flung open and the fresh morning breeze blows through. Rejuvenation, inspiration, and massive motivation take up residence within me. I feel rather than see the tree lined path before me erupt with blossoms, beauty and the fragrance of determination. The uneven path stretches nearly to infinity with hope, power and persistence as my mate. I take the first step knowing my boundaries are limitless. Off I go in search of renewed, refreshed and tangible dreams.