slipping away

life
like philo dough
transparent
like a bedroom window
fragile
like a shard of glass
crumpled
like an old newspaper
broken
like a china tea cup
lost
like my helpless soul
life
like the setting sun

begin again

when my world ends
and my soul lifts to a higher place
where rainbows glow
and sadness is long lost
when my heart is silenced
by a soothing calm
where birds sing
a lullaby song
where distance is absent
and love abounds
my soul drifts through rhapsody
the sun warms my space
white doves fly free
and sing with the earth
peaceful quiet prevailes
stillness like my pulse
I reach out to touch the magic
sprinkles of laughter
drift upward
my soul reaches destiny
as my world begins

Dreams Are

Dreams are shattered and lost,
tossed to the angry wind
swept away with the prevailing tide
washed upon the rocks of salvation
dried out by the rays of the sun
drifting with the morning tide
forgotton
disregarded
amended
crumpled like used paper
slips through cracks like dust particles
wrapped in longing and unforgiveness
rolling endlessly down a dead end road
caught by a thread in the debri
of yesterday and tomorrow
forgotton
disregarded
amended
left to face the forces
of a cruel world about to explode
next to dying embers of time
frustration colors the rainbow
salty sea water erodes the foundation
whispers of regret float across the prarie

Goodbye Maggie

decisions are made
life changes
the light flickers
and then goes out
memories surface
validation persists
justification
not stepping back
move forward
without regret
or hesitation
what's done is done
for the best
for who
a missing piece
of the heart and soul
an absence
saturated with denial
understanding the task
life is eternal
without physical form
a mist of love
swirls around
a decision
was made
no one to blame
suffering no more
what's done is done

Ward B

"Cheater, cheater, cheater."
"I ain't no cheater."
"Yes, yes, you are a cheater. Let's play dice."
"Nobody calls me a cheater and gets away alive."
"You're not a cheater, you're a liar, liar, liar. Play dice, play dice."
"That's enough."
Poker man jumps out of his orange plastic chair flipping it over backwards. He starts to bang the table with his fists. Cards and dice scatter all over the stained brown carpet. Poker man starts to cry.
"Baby, baby, look at the baby cry."
This scene unfolds right before my alpha eyes. I can see all from my special corner space. I try to escape farther back into the corner. I can't. It's a trap. Somebody is trying to keep me out of the walls. Huddling in the corner I feel the warm wet liquid dripping down my legs. It colors my yellow pants darker. The liquid spreads out onto the floor. The strong urine odor catches attention from the enemy.
The large blob dressed in non-white advances to my hiding place. I try in vain to ease my body into the partitions. Sweat pours down my nose. She's getting closer. It's not sweat. It's tears just like the poker man had.
"I don't want to be like the poker man," my mouth says.
Hurry, hurry hide before she catches you. Slowly my body enters the wall and conceals itself. I'm safe inside the wall, they can't get to me. I can see out but they can't see in.

Beneath it all

peal away the sadness
one single layer at a time
expose the fragility
suffer the consequences
shed tears of remorse
as the grips of sadness
slowly let go
while waves of memories
haunt your psyche
and twirl within
trying to escape
release is hopeful
peal away the pain
one layer at a time
renew the vitality
hidden beneath the armour
where hope was banished
to live in the flame
to become ashes of grief
with no one to blame

places I go

places where the wind blows softly
where birds sing sweet lullabies
as the waves crash respectively against the white sand
solitude
imagination
procrastination
are timeless treasures
places where a gentle breeze touches my face
where songs of laughter fill my body
as the sky paints puffs of white cotton
inspiration
dreams
peacefulness
are timeless treasures
places where my heart beats loud
where serenity rolls over white sand
as water washes away yesterday
joy
contentment
creativity
are timeless treasures
places where my soul survives
where destiny pulls my hand
as the world embraces me in love
whispers
laughter
happiness
are timeless treasures
places where I can touch pleasure
where senses explore reality
as the universe guides me

count them invisible

injustice prevails
turn your head
look away
untie your hands
play your games
insulate yourself
watch your feet
ignore the pain
turn your head
look away
don't worry about them
it's not your cause
let misery flame
continue on
your cushy path
turn your head
look away
don't get involved
pretend aloofness
pave your path
don't go astray
close your heart
silence your thoughts
turn your head
look away
hide behind
the bureaucracy
the paperwork
the hours spent
meaningless
bide your time
into descent
where they can't go
it's only you
turn your head
look away

rainy season

slowly the blood, the lifeline,
drains from the vessel
like a lazy river gone astray,
wandering aimlessly
waiting for the end to ease it all
before the fall
silence permeates the hollows of the mind
with doubt,
distraction and the void
rain patters lightly against the soul
desire fades with the dusk
darkness robs the light
and the power chugs to a stop
doors close
windows latch
alone
crying
reaching out
grasping for an invisible thread
hope
lost in the sea of pain
the mind
forecloses on destiny
salted wounds
helpless
thunder crackles
lightening strikes
and the vessel melts away

dust shadows

where darkness shadows

the illusion of love

when the will is bent

broken in spirit

drifting with the tide

of rambling dust

across the barren

through rolling hills

past a heartbreak

fading like the sunset

while the ocean breeze

drifts among the lost

unforseen clouds

remove the light

that energizes

our hopes

our dreams

where darkness overcomes

and shadows prevail

no words

the heart dripping blood
from the open wound
the slit from hurt
weeps within
outward signs
elusive and quiet
the storm is present
just beneath the surface
ready to rise
ready to strike
stages of remorse
solidify and disperse
the pulse rapid
the pallor ghostly
etched into the softness
where once dwelled
love and admiration
washed away
in the sea of silence
devastation
it's only remainder

Inside Myself

Where the distance from here to there,
is a vast desert,
reaching far beyond our sight.
Wrapped in solitude and silence,
where the blackness of pain survives,
without nourishment or empathy.
When pieces of the past,
float lazily upriver,
stinging the open wound.
Eyes are closed against the assault,
when knife meets heart,
and slowly shrinks,
beyond the hurt called love.
Still we cherish,
what once was and always will be,
passages of time,
eclipses with darkness
and the memories,
of long ago.
Fragments slip from our grasp,
and melt like the setting sun,
into the netherworld,
where life is not all that kind.

morning walk

the myst descends
upon me as
the morning sun rises
with splendor
and trepidation
droplets of dew
line my bare arms
and encase my face
a sweep of humid air
blows past with residue
water trickles down
the cement crevices
and blocks my dreams
and invades my thoughts
and tugs at my soul
destiny on the run
escaping the reality
compensating for neglect
with whispers of pain
desire is lost
among the white puffs
billowing softly
above my head
their destination
unknown and lost
where time is elusive
and wants are ravished
the myst is gone
like the dreams

Dreams Die

the elusive dream
within inches of your fingertips
blowing softly in the breeze
and you reach out
inches short of capture
you try again
and faith flows with the current
time is freefalling
as the wind blows dust
and the particles
fall beneath you
life meanders
without resources
resting softly
upon the face of reality
entombed by frustration
sorrows implode
as destiny weeps
on your footprints
the tide waiting
for possesion
overtaken by impulse
the shadows darken
as dreams rise
and your soul is free

my forever place

submerged in the darkness
gasping for air
clinging to the lifeline
letting go
falling
falling
beyond the return
of reality and misfortune
closing the heart
letting go
falling
falling
blocks of time
fading into the distance
fog becomes eternity
letting go
falling
falling
destiny is forsaken
as the moon sinks
slowly into the melting pot
letting go
falling
falling
silence abounds
stillness is an illusion
satisfaction is lost
letting go
falling
falling
darkness prevails
the musk of air heavy
with deceit and deception

no words

My thoughts, my ideas, my feelings.

it comes like the wind

from the depths of darkness the long bony fingers reach to the sky and grab the soul - tattered as it already is and cloaks it with the message of destruction and doom becoming one with the dark devil and lost hopes, dreams and aspirations, it melts into nothingness, failure and despair, wonder if - IF - is that all there is, why do I continue when I sink to the pool of molten lava and disappear like a leaf blown with the wind, taken to oblivion, the place where souls cry in pain and ask for immortality, engulfed in self-pity, drowning in a sea of sadness, where morning brings more of the same and cast shadows of death that touch my thought

my life spiraling out of control, swirling near the depths of despair and darkness, surely when the bad starts it rolls faster and faster becoming bigger and bigger while the immense intensity of frustration and unhappiness builds and becomes a pyramid that reaches to the gods of doom, all reasoning is lost, misplaced and ignored including punctuation, grammar and following the rules - rules that have no place or meaning in my plunge to the bowels of the earth, once again the guilt I wear glows like the northern lights and shooting stars, stars that end with a splash no one hears or cares to see, alone, solitude now an enemy, my soul melting with the drama of self induced hopelessness

Parts of me

The darkness descends upon me and blankets me with despair. Air is swept away and my lungs shrivel with remorse. What sends me here to this forlorn place? Avalanches of sorrow slide roughly down the slope. Crevices of hope are covered and doomed to the nether region.

Drowning in hopelessness the sun turns away. My helpless tears fill the deep crevices carved by distance. The dancing heart slumps to the ending of the swan song. Regret spills over crashing through the levy that holds back the sadness.

Without protection the demise erupts into painful heartache and indefinite suffering. Demons swoop down and devour the lost soul. All is quiet - all is locked away into the great chest of terror and dreams.

Infinity Edge

Standing on the edge of the infinity pool. Surveying my options while thoughts swirl inside my head. My location colors my perspective about the situation. Far out into the landscape my eyes catch sight of the pain and indifference bounding over hills and scrub. A subtle wind blows despair in a whirlwind. Sagebrush tumbles defiantly across the flat lands.

My point of view changes rapidly with the weather. My inhabitions fluctuate with restless abandonment. The direction in which my life is traveling becomes clouded with doom. Cold temperatures slice though my emotional defenses. A wisp of doubt lingers just below the surface. My body frozen like an ice sculpture - solid and opaque.

My armour chipping and charred by reluctant choices. Energy once abundant and usefull now dormant and minuscule. My posture weak with sorrows and deceit. The No Vacancy sign of courage faded and bending. My soul shredded like Carolina Bar B Q.

The Sea

the sea she calls me

Falling

Open

Look thru my window.

Broken

2008

What if the season to be jolly lasted all year long?

A smile is the perfect gift, personal and encouraging.

Happy New Year.